Bleeeeech

Dear Mouse In My Laundry Room,

OK, I am only going to say this once. Get. The. Hell. Out. I am not kidding, dude. You are grossing me out and causing a major laundry crisis in our house. Because every time I go into the laundry room I have to clean up a big pile of your crap. Then I have to take a shower. And taking four showers a day is getting old. And expensive-my shampoo isn't cheap!
So have a heart, little furry dude. It's the holidays. My husband is out of clean underwear and I am seriously considering heading to Target to buy him more just to avoid having to deal with any more of your fecal matter. Consider this a warning. I've called a professional and put a hit out on your ass. I had no choice. My sheets are starting to smell.
Don't look at me like that. If you had stayed outside where you belong, none of this would have happened. But you had to come inside and crap all over my linoleum. God help you if you manage to make it past the impenetrable barrier I have constructed out of rolled up towels and into the rest of the house. God help us all.

Die mouse die,

Monkeysparkets

People? I am in loooooove.

I know it’s wrong, but I just couldn’t help myself. One look at this shiny purple paragon of cleanliness and I was smitten:












Am I the only one out there that gets inappropriately tingly when presented with a new cleaning gadget? No? That’s OK. If loving my Swiffer is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. I've put off buying one of these babies for a long time because I heard that rumor about the cleaning solution containing antifreeze. Snopes says that this is false. I just hosed down our silverware and all the kids' teething toys with it, so I'll let you know.


For those of you who don't know me, I tend to get a little obsessive when I really like something, so you'll probably be seeing more that a few future posts dedicated to this sweet magical contraption. Swiffer fanfic, anyone?



Oh my gosh, I will give a bright shiny nickle to anyone who can come up with a Swiffer fanfic. Bonus points for incorporating any of the following:

Let's Dish!
Joss Whedon or any element of any of the Whedonverses
the dancing old guy from the Six Flags commercials
Jon and Kate Plus 8
Jordan Catalano

Ready? Set? Go!

Merry Christmas!

It has been a busy holiday season, but I hope to get back in the blogging groove soon. Hope you all are well and getting your yule on!