Letters to Isabel, Month 34

Dear Isabel,

Today you turn 34 months old. I will always remember this as the month of “Here’s what’s going to happen”. Ah, that magic, magic phrase. See, every two weeks our local library has a story time for two year olds. This story time has become a very special tradition for you and Nanny. Every other Thursday she and GG pick you up and take you to the library. Afterwards they take you to McDonald’s for your favorite meal in the whole wide world, chicken nuggets and “tench fries”.


Well, two weeks ago I had scheduled your brother’s routine checkup for Thursday morning during your library time. Nanny called just as we were leaving to say that she was taking you home early due to the fact that you had morphed into the biggest spaz this side of the Mississippi. No story time. No tench fries. You were both crushed. I went to pick you up from her house and when I saw you there sheepishly eating your turkey sandwich I was filled with this great sadness for you. At your age it is primarily my responsibility to help you learn how to behave. The truth is, lately it had become much easier to give into your tantrums than to discipline you consistently. I thought I had been doing my best, but I realized at that moment that I could do better.

So. That day began The Crackdown. The new policy was: We would make sure we were taking the time to explain what we expected of you. We would make sure that our expectations were reasonable. We would employ a zero tolerance policy when it came to acting up. Rather than letting the behavior go on for several minutes, we would put you right in time out.








Pshew! Sounds rough, huh? And it was rough. For about 6 hours. The first day of The Crackdown saw you in Time Out about 8 times before lunch. Then something happened. You began to act up that afternoon, and I gave you a stern look and said, “Are you going to disobey?” You thought about it for a minute and decided it wasn’t worth it. Finally, we were getting on the same page. I probably ask you that question ten times a day now. Sometimes you say, “yes”, but most of the time you get yourself under control. I am so proud of you, I could burst!





Our communication has reached another level these last few weeks. Sometime during The Crackdown, it occurred to us that we seemed to be having most of our problems during transition times, or unfamiliar experiences. That’s when we discovered, “Here’s what’s going to happen”. Before a transition, or before we begin something that we know you won’t like, or if you are just starting to get anxious, your Dad or I will look you in the eye and say, “Isabel, here’s what’s going to happen…”. We will describe the event to you in great detail. And about ninety percent of the time, you move smoothly into the activity with little fuss. Magic! Turns out you just really don’t like things being sprung on you.

Not a surprise. You are very into control these days. Even more so than most other kids your age, I think. You don’t like being hugged or kissed, unless you initiate the contact. You hate being tickled, but every now and then you will lie down on the floor and tickle yourself. It drives you completely mad that your brother is starting to cruise the furniture and get into your toys. You’ve taken to carrying around armloads of your favorite toys to keep them safe from his deadly grasp. We call it your Entourage. Here you are simultaneously protecting two Duckies, a hippo, a tiny rabbit, a plastic hanger which you have decided is a candy cane, and your fire truck. Being a big sister is exhausting!



All this has not boded well for potty training. You are a smart kid and you get the idea. You are not opposed to it, per se, but you really want your bodily functions to adhere to your schedule. You do not like having to plan your activities around the potty. We’ve promised you that when you are a “big girl” that we will get you a goldfish, and you want one. Bad. So at this point we are just waiting. But we do have a preschool deadline, honey. The deposit is paid and everything, so…any day now, okay?

You are definitely ready for preschool. You ask to go there almost every day. This is a huge shocker, as you have always acted as though all other children are covered in acid and the merest contact with one will burn you. You’ve become a lot more comfortable around other kids for some reason. Yay! I can’t wait to see how you do there. I can’t wait to see what the next month brings. Every day it seems I get to know you a little bit better as your vocabulary and your imagination and your communication skills grow. You are an extraordinary little person, and I am so blessed to have you in my life.
Love,
Mama

So crazy it works

Recently we had one of those idyllic Saturday afternoons. The weather was unseasonably warm, we had no plans, the whole family just hanging out in the backyard.

"Gee," I remarked rather pointedly, "The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard again."

"Hm." responded The Mister, noncommittally.

"It sure would be a shame if someone stepped in it. It would get all over the house. All those germs. I sure wouldn't want to have to..."

The Mister heaved a big sigh. "I'll get it."

Victory! I thought. He trotted off, presumably to get a shovel and a plastic bag. My eyebrows rose a little when he returned with...a pile of sticks? They shot straight up into my hairline as he proceeded to use the sticks to build an elaborate fence around the poop.

"There!" He says with great satisfaction. "Now no one will step in it."

We've dubbed it The Poop Tree, and it's well on it's way to becoming a beloved family landmark.

"OK, kids, you can play outside. But stay away from the Poop Tree."

Let's face it, once you've named something it can be hard to get rid of it. Like our new pet, for instance:

His name is Clyde. What, you can't see him very well? Here's a close up:

Yes, Clyde is deer tick. I recently found him crawling on Isabel's shirt. If you don't know me in real life; you may be wondering why I trapped Clyde under a glass and named him, rather than just flushing him down the toilet like any normal human being. If you do know me in real life; you are probably just laughing because you know that I have a long and illustrious history of trapping insects under glasses. This is ostensibly so that I can identify them properly, but in truth it is because I have this morbid vision wherein my loved one has been bitten by an insect and I am running down the hospital corridors alongside the gurney and the doctors are shouting, "But did you save the tick???" And I triumphantly lift the glass in the air and save the day. It could totally happen. Also, I think letting insects suffocate slowly to death sets a good example to all the other insects.

Of course, after time it starts to backfire on me. The longer I leave Clyde under the glass, the more menacing he seems. Eventually, he starts talking to me in this cartoonish Brooklyn accent, "Eh, lady! Lemme outta this glass so I can bite your daaawtah!"

Yes, all ticks are from Brooklyn. And all mosquitoes are Mexican. The point is, and I do have a point, wait, no, I really don't have a point. Except that underneath this I've-got-it-together Mommy exterior lies a big swirling batch of crazy. And I'm beginning to suspect that the Mister has his own little batch of crazy brewing, too. Maybe that's why we work.

Movie Review: The Lives of Others

I don't generally go for subtitled films, but I don't categorically avoid them either. I think the last one I saw was "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" . I like "good" movies, but sometimes I enjoy crappy movies too. I'm pretty shameless when it comes to cheesy blockbusters and romantic comedies. I saw Titanic four times in the theater. And any movie about dancing or cheerleading has pretty much got me sold, no matter how bad.

The Lives of Others is a "good" movie; by which I mean that "critics and people who take movies seriously liked it". I like "good" movies, too, as long as they are not overly dark or disturbing. Screw that. I don't watch movies to become disturbed. The one possible exception being Donnie Darko, which was just disturbing enough.

And, wow, I just realized that I have no idea how to write a film review. The Lives of Others was a great one. You should see it. It does have some nudity during sex scenes, which usually really turns me off. But this was tastefully done and not gratuitous. But if that's a deal breaker for you, be warned. You can follow the link above to read reviews by some actual review-y types. If you're looking for a movie that will get stuck in your head all day (and make you very very grateful that you do not live in 1980's East Germany) I recommend it.

UPDATE: If you follow the link above to the Rotten Tomatoes page, do NOT read the full synopsis of the movie, as it pretty much gives away the entire plot. How crummy!

Is this what Awake feels like?

So we went to see our pediatrician yesterday for Isaac's nine month check up. He told us on no uncertain terms that a nine and a half month old is old enough to sleep through the night. He said that if I choose to keep getting up with him three times a night it will not cause any psychological damage or anything like that, but it is not necessary at this point. He also delicately asked whether Isaac was making up for the lost sleep during the day. Nope. And you know what? The little guy is just looking tired lately.

I feel really ready for sleep training now. I've said that before, but I feel ready for it in a new way. So last night I went downstairs and slept on the couch. My super stud of a husband offered to go in every half hour that Isaac was crying and reassure him. And you know what? We all slept wonderfully. I haven't slept for five hours in a row like that for oh, I don't know, about nine and a half months? And the Mister said he didn't have to get up once. Isaac woke up in a great mood at 6:45 am and we are like a bright, shiny new family.

I am fully prepared for the possibility that this was a tremendous fluke and that we are going to be in for the fight of our lives when we try it again tonight. But you know what? I'll take it.

Toddlers + Too much rain = Crazy

Well I am working on a hugegantic post about my weekend, but I wanted to quickly share a super fun activity that we just discovered.

First off, I want to say that I love my job. I cannot think of anything I would rather be doing every day than taking care of my family. But today was just one of those days. Isaac was nuts because he missed his morning nap, and Bella was nuts because the weather was bad and she hadn't been outside all day. I was just nuts, and we were all feeding off of each other's moods. You could cut the crazy with a knife around here.

The solution? Pudding painting! Now I am sure that many an innovative Mommy has come up with this idea before, but it was a new one for us. I took off the kid's shirts, put Bella at the table with a cup of pudding and a pastry brush, and let her go to town. I put Isaac in his high chair and opened a tub of Gerber sweet potatoes and let him do the same. They painted the tables, chairs, themselves, and each other. They had so much fun.

I'll admit I had to hog-tie my inner neat freak and sit on her for about twenty minutes. You can't start a mess like that and then expect to keep it under control. I kept finding myself saying, "No no...not in your...oh my...not the...aw, hell..."

But you know what? Totally worth it. By the time they were done and bathed, we were like a different family. And I have an ace up my sleeve for this afternoon. We are going to blow up the air mattress and jump around on it, then build a fort. Did I mention that I love my job?

So how do you pass your rainy days? I'd love to hear any suggestions. I'm running low on pudding.

In which she posts a million pictures

Well I've been out of it for a while, as we've just had a nasty cold sweep through our house. And before that I was helping my Mom throw a Super Fabulous Tea Party. And by "helping" I pretty much mean "making elaborate To-Do lists and then losing them".

For those of you who don't know my Mom; this woman knows how to party. She had trouble deciding on a theme, so she picked four of them. Unfortuantely, I was only able to get really good pictures in two of the rooms due to light constraints.

There was really dim lighting in the Moroccan room. She draped the whole room in lush fabrics and scattered pillows around the coffee table.

In the dining room she set up a Traditional English Tea. She got out the good silver and fancy china and I actually got to use the soup tureen I got as a wedding gift!

(soup tureen not pictured)

Briah and I were stoked that there was an Asian themed room. Any excuse to wear a Kimono!

Yummy spring rolls in the Asian Tea Room:

My favorite theme, however, was the Mad Hatter's Tea Party:

These streamers were made out of regular playing cards, paper doilies, and pictures from the original book that I found here, colored in, and mounted on cardstock.

She had the centerpiece done by a local florist:

Yes, the cupcakes say "Eat Me"

I guess I am posting all of this because when Mom asked for help with planning the decorations, I spent a lot of time scouring the Internet for ideas and really did not find much. Also this has really inspired me to start planning my own tea party sometime this spring. Though mine will probably be a lot more kid friendly!

Hey, Coolio!

So I was picked by Audra to be the lucky recipient of a super special Pay It Forward gift. She was picked by Melissa, and now I get to pick...you?



Here's how it works. Leave me a comment on this post and in a few days I will randomly pick three people to receive a special gift in the mail. It will probably be something homemade and crafty, because I live for that stuff. All you have to do is pass on three PIF gifts of your own, through a blog if you have one, or just to random friends if you prefer.

Spreadin' the love, man...