Letters to Isabel, Month 34

Dear Isabel,

Today you turn 34 months old. I will always remember this as the month of “Here’s what’s going to happen”. Ah, that magic, magic phrase. See, every two weeks our local library has a story time for two year olds. This story time has become a very special tradition for you and Nanny. Every other Thursday she and GG pick you up and take you to the library. Afterwards they take you to McDonald’s for your favorite meal in the whole wide world, chicken nuggets and “tench fries”.


Well, two weeks ago I had scheduled your brother’s routine checkup for Thursday morning during your library time. Nanny called just as we were leaving to say that she was taking you home early due to the fact that you had morphed into the biggest spaz this side of the Mississippi. No story time. No tench fries. You were both crushed. I went to pick you up from her house and when I saw you there sheepishly eating your turkey sandwich I was filled with this great sadness for you. At your age it is primarily my responsibility to help you learn how to behave. The truth is, lately it had become much easier to give into your tantrums than to discipline you consistently. I thought I had been doing my best, but I realized at that moment that I could do better.

So. That day began The Crackdown. The new policy was: We would make sure we were taking the time to explain what we expected of you. We would make sure that our expectations were reasonable. We would employ a zero tolerance policy when it came to acting up. Rather than letting the behavior go on for several minutes, we would put you right in time out.








Pshew! Sounds rough, huh? And it was rough. For about 6 hours. The first day of The Crackdown saw you in Time Out about 8 times before lunch. Then something happened. You began to act up that afternoon, and I gave you a stern look and said, “Are you going to disobey?” You thought about it for a minute and decided it wasn’t worth it. Finally, we were getting on the same page. I probably ask you that question ten times a day now. Sometimes you say, “yes”, but most of the time you get yourself under control. I am so proud of you, I could burst!





Our communication has reached another level these last few weeks. Sometime during The Crackdown, it occurred to us that we seemed to be having most of our problems during transition times, or unfamiliar experiences. That’s when we discovered, “Here’s what’s going to happen”. Before a transition, or before we begin something that we know you won’t like, or if you are just starting to get anxious, your Dad or I will look you in the eye and say, “Isabel, here’s what’s going to happen…”. We will describe the event to you in great detail. And about ninety percent of the time, you move smoothly into the activity with little fuss. Magic! Turns out you just really don’t like things being sprung on you.

Not a surprise. You are very into control these days. Even more so than most other kids your age, I think. You don’t like being hugged or kissed, unless you initiate the contact. You hate being tickled, but every now and then you will lie down on the floor and tickle yourself. It drives you completely mad that your brother is starting to cruise the furniture and get into your toys. You’ve taken to carrying around armloads of your favorite toys to keep them safe from his deadly grasp. We call it your Entourage. Here you are simultaneously protecting two Duckies, a hippo, a tiny rabbit, a plastic hanger which you have decided is a candy cane, and your fire truck. Being a big sister is exhausting!



All this has not boded well for potty training. You are a smart kid and you get the idea. You are not opposed to it, per se, but you really want your bodily functions to adhere to your schedule. You do not like having to plan your activities around the potty. We’ve promised you that when you are a “big girl” that we will get you a goldfish, and you want one. Bad. So at this point we are just waiting. But we do have a preschool deadline, honey. The deposit is paid and everything, so…any day now, okay?

You are definitely ready for preschool. You ask to go there almost every day. This is a huge shocker, as you have always acted as though all other children are covered in acid and the merest contact with one will burn you. You’ve become a lot more comfortable around other kids for some reason. Yay! I can’t wait to see how you do there. I can’t wait to see what the next month brings. Every day it seems I get to know you a little bit better as your vocabulary and your imagination and your communication skills grow. You are an extraordinary little person, and I am so blessed to have you in my life.
Love,
Mama